Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
