How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
