I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
There's even glitter on my cock...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
