That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
