i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I looked at my own cervix.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
When are your genitals available?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
