i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
