Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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