No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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