Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
