there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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