I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
