On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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