Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
