"it" just moved
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
third nipple confirmed
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
