So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
