I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
