You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Randomize
