Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize