too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
