and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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