yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
