it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
