I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize