Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
