Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
