it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
