Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
