in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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