Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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