FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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