Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
is it fun? or sober?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
