Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
