Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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