btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
