i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
