try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I pour the whiskey from now on
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize