Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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