jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
