her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize