I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
