Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
