you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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