I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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