every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
