i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
