She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I currently don't understand fingers.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
