I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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