Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
