She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize