there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
