last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
