that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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