I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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