Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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