Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
